Best BDSM Dating Sites

This list is all about the best BDSM dating sites. If you’re into BDSM, kinks, fetishes or just non-traditional sex, you’ll find it all here.

BDSM is a very “broad” topic to say the least, isn’t it? As a result, I’ve included many different choices for you folks!

Need the most anonymous, secure environment? Go with the first option. You’re into specific kinks such as Ladyboys maybe? You’ll find a Ladyboy-exclusive site here. Even if you like how Tinder feels, I’ve got a BDSM-exclusive Tinder-like site as well.

Let’s find you a kink partner then?

Best BDSM dating sites

These mostly have a BDSM-exclusive user base. Most even offer features which will help you find the most suitable BDSM partners for yourselves!

  • Ashley Madison – 60M+ users/ Extremely privacy-friendly
  • Alt– BDSM search filters
  • Fetster- BDSM features
  • Bondagepal- Unique, simple interface
  • MyBDSMHookups- Requires account approval
  • LadyBoyKisses- Exclusive for Ladyboy lovers.
  • Kinkoo- Tinder-like BDSM alternative.

1. Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison is a 20year+ old dating website. It can almost be termed as a founder of BDSM dating websites! In fact, any kind of “online dating” almost didn’t exist before Ashley Madison .Here’s an overview:

Overview:

So, you’d love Ashley Madison because it cares extremely for your privacy! You must upload photos if you wish to get connections, right? On Ashley Madison, you can use blurs and masks to reveal just the right amount while keeping your identity safe!

Maybe you’d like to keep it all private? It has “private albums”! Users must request access to this album and you must grant it before they can access these photos.

Its self-destructing messages further add to your anonymity and privacy! Nothing gets stored permanently!

As mentioned above, with 60,000,000+ members, you’re bound to find people who’re into the same kinks and fetishes as you!

The interface is very welcoming, simple and easy to use! Any and all profile access is 100% free! Age, location, public photos can be viewed for free.  Physical features, interests, relationship status etc. is displayed for free as well.

There’s the “wink” feature, you can click on it to let the user know of your interest in them.

If you’re a women, it’s 100% free for you. Most features are almost free  for men as well.

It’s also the top BDSM dating website for you if you’re into a relationship/are married! It’s literally made for extra-martial affairs. If and when you do pay for anything on Ashley Madison (completely optional), even the charges are anonymized on your credit cards!

Instant chat is obviously available. You can even go for optional add-ons such as “Priority Messages” which get your message noticed no matter what!

Bottomline? If you need the largest user-base to choose from and the most secret hookup experience, Ashley Madison is the way to go.

2. Alt

ALT

There are two reasons why I believe it’s one of the best BDSM dating sites. First, it’s made exclusively and solely for BDSM dating! That’s an obvious, right? Secondly, it has nearly 1million registered members. Each of these members are here solely for BDSM partners.

Overview-

  • Website: https://www.alt.com
  • Member count: Approx. 1million
  • Browsing profiles: Not free
  • Paid plans start at: $11.99/month.

When I said BDSM-centric, I truly meant it. On your profile, you can “update your kinks”. So, you can literally add what weird fantasies you have for others to see.

These kinks are basically like keywords. They help other users find you using these kinks/keywords as search filters.

That brings me to the second impressive feature, the search-filters. You can actually search for people using the “kinks” they’ve updated in their profiles.

There are easily over 500 kinks to select, and search for! That means feathers, foot lick, hog tying, mud, devotional, torture are just a fraction of all the available kinks.

Now, you may or may not like it, but, your dashboard will be spammed with nude content. This includes nude photos, videos and live broadcasts!

Users profiles even have a “compatibility chart” which shows you compatible you are with the user.

Even with 0 friends, you can access its “who’s online”/ “members near me”/ VIPs and “New members”  tabs. This shows you profiles and feed posts from them.

Well yes, “feed” is a thing on Alt. You can create new posts. Likes/comments and tips are possible on the posts as well. If you’re thinking it’s so similar to social media platforms, it is! You can also add friends, exchange gifts and talk to them over using its messaging features.

It even has blogs and groups! Joining and creating entertaining polls is possible as well. You can also watch users live videos from other users for free.

Another feature worth a mention is its verified profiles. Some of the profiles are verified by Alt so you know those photos are real and not scrapped off the internet.

Unfortunately, most of the features mentioned above are paid features. The plans start at $11.99/month.

3. Fetster

Fetster may not have the best of user-interfaces, it does have some of the best features!  For starters, it’s  100% free, forever.

Overview-

Viewing profiles is free as well!  Additionally, you’d love is its verifications!

At times, members from Fetster reach out for verifications. These may be over phone, using photo, identification documents etc. Basically, this ensures that most Fetster profiles are real and not fake. Verified profiles have a “verified” badge on the avatars (photos).

Do note that it’s not for you if you’re looking for anonymity or privacy!  Also, the users there seem to be very active in filtering out fake profiles! You’d get dozens of callouts if you create a fake profile with fake data.

During registration, you get to choose your BDSM role, what you’re open to and other such preferences. This is what makes it one of the best BDSM dating sites.

User profiles would show you the location, what the user is interested in, and most importantly, the “kinks” they’re comfortable with.

Profiles also have “walls” you can write on! Then, you can also add people as friends. Sending digital gifts is available as well, and is free! You can even send free private messages.

Fetster also has groups you can join. You can add users as “favourites”. If you and the other user add each other to favourites, you get a “mutual attraction”.

When you first login to your dashboard, you’re shown a few dozen random users. A photo gallery, groups and confession board too can be found on the dashboard.  These can be used to find similar users even when you’re zero friends/partners on Fetlife.

There’s obviously a search feature you can use as well. It’s extremely detailed!  You can search using location, gender, sexuality, fantasy (dom/slave/ switch/ babygirl etc.)

Too lazy to fill out all those filters? You can use its “Online” tab to see hundreds of online users directly!  There’s even a “featured” tab which shows featured users or the “latest” tab can be used to find the newest members on the site.

4. Bondagepal

When talking of bondage dating sites, Bondagepal demands a mention purely because  of its name, doesn’t it? It has keywords like bondage, fetish, kinks on its homepage making its purpose clear. Its a 13-year old site and that speaks volumes!

Overview:

Additionally, its user-interface is the most unique and innovative of all the other best BDSM dating sites on this list as well.

It’s free to register. Once you do that, you’d find about a dozen profiles displayed on your dashboard. Viewing these profiles is completely free. They aren’t very informative though, you get location, age, distance from your location etc.

A short bio does tell you what the person is looking for. This generally includes their kinks and fetishes as well. You can send them direct messages even though it’s a paid feature.

You also can mark profiles “hot”, it’s similar to sending popularity/gifts/flirts etc. It lets the user know you find them “hot” and are interested in them.

While it doesn’t have the same anonymity features as Ashley Madison, the basic “crop” feature sure is available for photos. In addition, it also lists out a few “safe dating” tips just in case you’re new and naive.

It also has a “bulk flirt” feature (that’s what I like to call it atleast). You can type up a message and choose who its sent to (male/female/trans/couple). The message is then automatically sent to all the users who match your criteria and preferences!  You do not need to have contacts/friends for this to work!

As far as manual searching for friends goes, you can search based on gender, sexualities, age, distance etc. In fact, there’s a standalone “distance” page, clicking there shows you the members nearest to you!

Again, for distance, you can choose from 3 options! You can either use your GPS location, IP address or manual entries to tell Bondage of your location for more accurate results.

If you’re only interested in profiles with pictures, there’s a page for that as well. The “pictures” tab eliminates all profiles without photos and helps save time.

There’s also this unique “dungeon” feature. This is another way of engaging with users and it’s very BDSM(ey), isn’t it?

Now, quite a few of the primary features aren’t available to free users. You’d need to upgrade to a VIP level for that. Doing that primarily allows you to send messages to other users, appear higher in searches, earn that VIP badge etc. These start at around $5.95/month.

It doesn’t have a mobile app, but, does have a “mobile version”. If you need non-BDSM, dating apps for mobile I’ve got those as well!

5. MyBDSMHookups

You can’t just signup and start using MyBDSMhookups. After registration, there’s an “approval period”. Most profiles are almost always approved, however, it does take a bit of time.

Overview:

Anyway, I’ve listed it here as one of the best BDSM dating sites for two reasons. First, it’s a mix of both a social network, as well as Tinder-like interface. And second its user-base! It has a few hundred thousands registered users if not millions!

So, Tinder-like? Well yes, On your dashboard, you’d see “matches”, you can accept/reject them.

On the other side, like a social network, you can access user profiles, their photos, videos, parties, clubs etc. It even has “polls” about general topics which makes things interesting.

It has this “show naughty” feature, this shows you dozens of 18+ photos uploaded by users. However, it’s only available for the paid users.

More social-network features include blogs, friends, free group chats etc.  The “hot” or “not” game too is available. Random photos are shown and you can rate them.

Wish to find members? A list of “featured” members is shown on your dashboard. However, you can also use its “advanced” search feature! That would let you search using filters such as verification level, breast size etc.

The paid plans start at $16.29/month.

6. LadyBoyKisses

This may not be the absolute best BDSM dating site on this list, however, it sure is unique. It’s made exclusively for shemale and ladyboy dating! If those are your fantasies and kinks, this is just for you!

Overview:

Signing up is free, instant you can also sign up using your Facebook/Google accounts. The password for your profile is mailed to you on the e-mail. On your dashboard, it’ll show you a few photos, matches and new members. The profiles can be accessed for free. The interface however is pretty basic.

Profiles include information such as age, location, children, religion, education, job etc. It also has a “priorities in your life” section. Other preferences such as the goal on the site, preferred meeting locations etc. too are displayed.

There’s a “contact” feature, however, members can’t be contacted for free. Sending e-mails too is possible but only after making a payment.

It also shows the joining date, number of clicks on the profile and last online date if those matter to you.

A search-feature does exist even though it’s pretty basic. You can search for age, height, country, children etc.

The auto-match algorithm finds profiles most compatible with you. You can find them in your “matches” page. It’s free.

The only time you’re required to pay is when you try to contact someone. The cheapest plan starts at 27 EUR/month.

7. Kinkoo

Kinkoo is probably the most unique BDSM dating site on this list. How so? Well, it’s Tinder but for BDSM!

Overview:

  • Website: https://www.kinkoo.app/
  • Member count: N/A
  • Browsing profiles: Free (limited)
  • Paid plans start at: $3.99/40 coins.

During registration, you can select if you wish to be the dominator or the  submissive partner. The website has an interface that’s very similar to Tinder. Each profile displays the photo, kinks and gender of the user.

You can accept or reject profiles. New profiles keep showing up as soon as you click on the “heart” or the “X” icon.  “Rewind” is sure available but only for paid users.

Do note that free users only get a limited number of swipes each day. Similarly, there’s the “visitors” page, it shows who visited your profile, but this too is a paid feature.

It also has a “meet” feature. You can set your age-range, kinks, location, and distance-range. This shows you other users who’re into the same things as you and are willing to meet. Your settings also helps other users find you.

There’s also a verification feature. You can choose to get your profile verified. It obviously makes your profile more trustworthy and gets you more attention.

It’s totally accessible as a website, however, it does have native mobile apps for both Android and iOS which offers a better experience.

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Final words- Which are the best BDSM dating sites in 2021?

Ashley Madison is the first name that comes to mind when talking of the best BDSM websites on the planet. It just offers extreme anonymity, privacy and the biggest user-database on the planet.

The other options, especially Alt or Fetster are pretty good choices are well. Obviously they have a fraction (about 2-5%) of Ashley Madison’s user-base, but, they do offer pretty advanced features as well.

Kinkoo is for those who can’t get over their Tinder love. LadyBoyKisses will be for you if you’re explicitly into that specific kink.

So those were the best BDSM dating sites folks. Do check the other articles here for a slightly different approach to finding your partners!